


as if it might turn out this time

by RegretfullyRegretful



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Arguing, Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), M/M, Pain, Percy Jackson is an asshole, Will-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 14:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegretfullyRegretful/pseuds/RegretfullyRegretful
Summary: The song ends and Will is sad to see them stop for a moment, and then Nico turns to him, smiling in that beautiful way he does, and Will reaches a hand out. Nico starts walking toward him, catching his breath. Hazel is trailing behind him slightly. Will keeps his arm held out, his fingers stretching out. Nico reaches out as well and Will can already imagine the feeling of their hands clasped, fingers intertwined in the perfect way that only happens with Nico, as if their hands were made to hold each other’s.-----Or, Will learns to understand the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	as if it might turn out this time

**Author's Note:**

> There are so many references to Hadestown in this and tbh, not all of them were on purpose

Will feels like he could conquer the world as he spins Nico, laughing. Nico looks bewildered as he’s tugged back against Will’s chest, breathless. Will leans down, pressing his face against Nico’s shoulder and his lips against the skin of his neck, kissing his throat gently. Nico fights a laugh and he huffs, leaning back into Will and reveling in the feeling of the hand on his waist and the one intertwined with his own. “I told you not to spin me,” he complains, though his voice is heavy with affection. 

“I couldn’t help myself,” Will mutters into his ear.

Nico shivers and tips his head back, resting it against Will’s shoulder and looking up at him. “I feel like you could have,” he teases. 

“No, not when you look at me like that. Not when you’re my  _ husband _ now.”

“You’re cheesy.”

“Only for you.”

“Only for me,” Nico sighs, pushing up on his toes and pressing a kiss to Will’s jaw.

Will’s heart is bursting and he is melting. “I love you,” he whispers.

Nico twirls in Will’s hold to face him, locking his arms behind his neck and entangling his fingers in the blond curls. “I love you too,” he whispers back, his eyes fluttering across his husband’s face. 

Will tips his head forward to press their foreheads together, their noses barely brushing. “We got  _ married _ ,” he says quietly, a smile breaking out across his face.

Nico grins back and leans up to press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips, “We did.”

“We got married and I _ love _ you.”

“You said that already,” Nico responds, but as he kisses Will again, it doesn’t seem like he minds at all. 

The sun had set long ago and now they are swaying slightly to the song playing, something slow but happy. They kiss each other just as slowly and Will can taste their future on Nico’s lips, something sweet and wonderful. Will places a hand on the side of Nico’s face, his fingers tracing across his cheekbones, and places the other gently on his waist. He is holding him with reverence, almost like he’s afraid to break Nico, but he knows that there isn’t anything he could do to break him, they aren’t breakable, not together. 

The song ends and someone taps on Nico’s shoulder. They both look up and see Hazel smiling at them, her hand placed on Nico’s shoulder. A more upbeat song begins to play and Hazel asks Will, “Mind if I steal him?”

Will’s heart clenches at the idea of Nico being pulled away but he swallows his objection and shakes his head, “Not at all, as long as you bring him back to me.”

Hazel smiles even wider and nods as Nico and Will untangle from each other. Her hand slides from her brother’s shoulder down to his hand to pull him toward her. Nico looks back at Will with a soft smile, his eyes warm enough to make Will wonder how anybody has ever been cold before. Even in the cool night air, he is warm. Nico looks away but Will still feels heated. He takes a deep breath and turns around, his hands shoved in his pockets as he walks towards a group of people, his friends and siblings. He stands next to Austin and grins at them all. “There he is, the married man,” Cecil shouts, raising a cup to Will, “Congrats, man!”

Will laughs, “Thank you.”

“So? How does it feel?” Austin jokes.

“It’s,” Will pauses, “It’s wonderful. Perfect.”

“Even though you’re officially tied down for the rest of your life?” 

Will scrunches his nose as he shakes his head, “I’m not tied down. Or, I am, I guess, but I’ve been Nico’s since the day I met him.”

Austin lets out a low whistle as people around the circle coo and aw. “That’s disgustingly cute,” Cecil grins, “I’m really happy for you.”

Will looks over his shoulder to where Hazel and Nico are dancing, something fast and swinging. He smiles impossibly wider and pulls his hands from his pockets, his fingers twitching at his side. “I’m happy too,” he whispers, “So happy.”

He turns around to more easily watch the two dance. They’re laughing and grinning and the sight makes Will feel like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. He’s entranced, unable to fathom a world where he looks at anything other than Nico, his husband, his love. Nico spins Hazel around, holding her at arms length until he tugs her back and she twirls easily. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he places his on her waist as they continue to move, their feet moving with such remarkable lightness and ease that Will’s certain it must be a generational thing. Nico dramatically dips her and she comes back up shrieking with laughter and Will wishes he had a camera so he can take a picture. He loves seeing Nico smile like that, live so joyously and carefree that it radiates out of him and can be felt by everyone else, by Will most of all. 

The song ends and Will is sad to see them stop for a moment, and then Nico turns to him, smiling in that beautiful way he does, and Will reaches a hand out. Nico starts walking toward him, catching his breath. Hazel is trailing behind him slightly. Will keeps his arm held out, his fingers stretching out. Nico reaches out as well and Will can already imagine the feeling of their hands clasped, fingers intertwined in the perfect way that only happens with Nico, as if their hands were made to hold each other’s. 

He’s so distracted by Nico coming to him, by the love of his life reaching for him, that he doesn’t even see the snake slither across the grass. He doesn’t see Nico step on it, he doesn’t see the snake whip around and retaliate, biting Nico. He only sees Nico fall. 

A strangled sound escapes him and suddenly he’s rushing forward, kneeling beside his husband and reaching to look for the wound. Will feels like the world is simultaneously slowing down and speeding up. He can’t quite focus, all he knows is that he needs to help Nico, to heal Nico. It’s small, a fanged bite mark on his ankle, but the flesh is already turning black around the wound. He looks at Nico’s face, ashen, his eyes wide in a panic. 

“Will,” Nico whimpers.

“It’s okay,” Will says, “It’s okay. It’s just a snake bite. It’s just a snake. You’re gonna be fine.”

Hazel kneels down as well, pulling her brother’s head into her lap and carding a hand through his hair. Will looks to her and finds her crying and shakes his head. “Don’t cry,” he instructs. “It’s okay. He’s okay.”

Hazel grimaces as her face crumples and she drops her head to look down at her brother. Nico doesn’t look at her, keeping his gaze fixed on his husband as Will places his hand over the wound, humming a hymn as he focuses on healing him. He feels a jerk in his chest and he moves his hands away for a moment to see the wound seeming to grow instead of shrink. His heart leaps to his throat and panic wells but he doubles his efforts, pouring every ounce of power and energy he has into healing Nico. 

“It’s okay,” he repeats, “You’re okay. It was just a  _ snake _ .”

“Will,” Nico repeats, raising a hand slowly and reaching for him again, like he had before he had fallen. 

Will doesn’t take his hand, shaking his head as smiles painfully at the raven. “I have to-“ he stutters, “I have to heal you. I’ll hold your hand when you’re all better. When you’re okay.”

“It’s okay, Will,” Nico whispers, his voice low and shaky.

Will keeps his hands hovered over the bite, even as he watches the rotting creep out past them. The world doesn’t feel real, he doesn’t feel like he’s in his body. “You’re gonna be okay,” he says again.

Tears drip onto his hands and he blinks in surprise as he realizes they’re his own. “I love you,” Nico whispers.

“Don’t say it like that,” Will tells him, his voice cracking, “Don’t ever see it like it’s a goodbye.”

Nico’s eyes aren’t filled with panic anymore. They’re calm as they capture Will’s own and it makes the blond cry harder. Hazel places a hand on her brother's cheek and lets out a choked sob. “Nico,” she cries, “Oh gods, Nico.”

He still doesn’t look away from Will as tears roll down his cheeks. “Will,” his voice is heavy and it makes Will feel like his chest is collapsing, “I love you.”

Will’s hands shake as he continues to try and heal his husband. “I love you too,” he sobs, “I love you more than anything. You’re going to be okay.”

“I’m not,” Nico whispers, “But you have to be. Promise me?”

“I can’t-“ Will can’t breathe and all he can think of is how beautiful Nico looked when he danced, “You can’t go anywhere.”

“I have to,” Nico tells him, his voice tight, “Will, please, promise me?”

Will shakes his head and he gasps for air, shaking. “Nico, darling, please don’t ask me that,” he begs, “Don’t ask me that like you’re going away.”

Nico reaches out one more time, his hand trembling, but Will can’t bear to take his hands away and stop trying to heal him, “I’m already gone, Sunshine.”

“You’re right here,” Will is sobbing, heaving, and he feels like he’s going to pass out. 

Nico doesn’t say anything, he just takes a shuddering breath and squeezes his eyes shut, his hand dropping to his side. His lips tremble as tears rush down the sides of his face. Hazel is sobbing, running her fingers through Nico’s hair as if it will soothe either of them. “Nico,” Will mumbles, “Darling, look at me please.”

Nico opens his eyes slowly and smiles softly, painfully as he tries to take a breath. “See?” Will’s voice hitches, “There you are. You’re right here. You’re okay.”

Nico doesn’t close his eyes again. He doesn’t speak again. He doesn’t breathe again. 

Will’s face crumples and he wails, finally dropping his hands from the wound reaching for Nico. He grips his husband’s hands in his own and collapses against his chest. “You’re okay,” he sobs, “You’re right here.”

“Will,” Hazel cries, “ _ Will _ .”

“He’s okay,” he tells her, pulling Nico up from her lap as he clutches him against his chest.

Nico’s head lolls back, his eyes still wide open. Will places a hand in his hair and gently tucks his head against his shoulder as he rocks them back and forth. He’s trying to heal him again, light radiating from his hands, as he repeats “He’s okay. You’re okay,” again and again.

It’s a hopeless mantra but it drowns out the sound of Hazel crying and the sound of everyone else reacting. Will presses his face into Nico’s hair, smelling his shampoo and his cologne. He absentmindedly registers that Nico should be complaining about Will getting tears and snot in his hair and it makes him hysterical. He instead presses his face into Nico’s shoulder to muffle his screams. 

He’s still rocking them both and the longer he does, the more he registers Nico’s limp arms and how Will feels cold now. “Oh gods,” he wails, “Oh gods  _ no _ .”

Someone places a hand on his shoulder and he flinches. “Will,” someone tries to say calmly, “You need to let him go.”

Will clutches his husband’s body tighter and screams again. The hand on his shoulder doesn’t move and another is placed on his arm, trying to gently pull him back. “No!” he shrieks, “He’s okay, just let- just let me heal him.”

“Will,” the voice is sterner this time, even though he can hear their own tears, “Look at me.”

Will looks up to see Percy Jackson staring down at him, tears on his face. “You need to let us take him,” he says.

“Don’t!” Will snarls, “Don’t touch him!”

“You can’t heal him,” Percy snaps.

Will blinks and registers the anger in Percy’s voice.  _ ‘Angry at who?’ _ he wonders,  _ ‘Me?’  _ Something else in Will snaps and he screams again, still holding Nico. “You can’t have him!” he shouts, “Don’t take him!”

Percy places his hands on one of Will’s arms and someone grabs the other. He whips his head around to see Frank, his face stoic even with tear tracks. They don’t try to pull his arms back and Will hopes for a moment that they won’t take him, they won’t take Nico from him. Then Jason comes up, standing in front of him and tries to pull Nico from his arms. “No!” Will screams, “Don’t touch him! Don’t take him from me!”

Jason scoops up Nico’s limp body as Will thrashes, held back by Percy and Frank. “Stop!” he wails, “I need to heal him!”

Someone else is beside him and he hears Kayla’s voice suddenly, trying to soothe him. Will ignores her as he continues to fight against Percy and Frank and try to rip himself from their grasp. He senses Percy’s head behind his own and he throws his head back, smashing Percy’s nose with a crack. Percy swears and his grip loosens enough for Will pull his arm out and he uses it to slash at Frank. He rakes his nails across his face, drawing blood and Frank cries out. He struggles to make it out of his grip but he manages and he scrambles to his feet. He rushes toward Jason carrying Nico’s body toward the infirmary. “Stop!” he shouts, “He’s okay! I just need to-”

“Will, stop,” Piper commands. 

Her voice is shaky from crying and it makes it easier to resist. Will doesn’t stop completely, just slows, but it’s enough for Percy and Frank to catch up to him and grab him again. Piper speaks again, her voice steadier, “Will, stop. Let Jason take him.”

Will freezes even though his heart is racing and his mind is screaming at him to keep going. The adrenaline slows after a second though, and he is hysterical again. His knees buckle as he sobs, “I just need to heal him. Let me heal him. Please gods, he’s okay. Just let me- please don’t take him away from me.”

Percy and Frank lower him to the ground. Will lurches forward and throws up on the grass. He is heaving and crying, choking on tears and vomit as his entire body shakes. “Don’t take him,” he mumbles, “Please don’t take him.”

“Will,” Piper commands, suddenly right beside him, “Sleep.”

Will feels himself fall unconscious even as he fights it. He whimpers just before he falls asleep, begging one last time for Nico to stay.

\-----

Will wakes up in the infirmary, still in his wedding tux. His jacket is gone and one sleeve is rolled up for the IV in his arm. He has no idea what time it is, but sunlight is streaming in through the window. For a second, just a second, he doesn’t know why he’s there. Then it hits him and he jolts up, heaving. “Nico,” he cries.

Someone rushes into the room at the sound of his voice, Kayla, and he looks to her in a panic. “Where’s Nico?” he asks.

Her face falls and she looks to the ground, not meeting his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Will.”

Will screams, raw and painful. 

“They didn’t let me heal him,” he sobs, “I could have-”

Kayla moves beside him and cuts him off, “Will, you couldn’t have done anything.”

That makes him cry harder. She wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He doesn’t try to pull away as he sobs. “He can’t be gone,” he wails, “Kayla, he can’t. How did this happen?”

Kayla doesn’t say anything as Will rambles. His mind is racing, trying to understand how things could have gone so wrong.  _ Why did this happen? How does a snake kill one of the most powerful demigods of the century? How does a snake like that exist?  _ A sudden anger fills Will, nearly as painful as the grief. He removes himself from Kayla’s hold and rips the IV from his arm. 

“Will, stop,” she says in a panic, “What are you doing?”

Will doesn’t say anything as he gets out of the infirmary bed, making a break for the door. He escapes from the room he was in and tries to rush through the main area of the infirmary to the exit. Most of the seven and a few others are waiting there and they look up at him in shock. He freezes for a second, like a deer caught in headlights, and then darts for the door. Percy and Jason stand to stop him but he rushes past them and out of the infirmary.

He is sprinting towards the center of camp and he can hear people chasing after him.

“Apollo!” he screams at the sky, still running, “Hades!”

He stops at the bottom of the hill, where they had their wedding reception, he thinks  _ ‘Where Nico-’ _ before shaking his head. He holds his arms out and stares up. “What happened? Why did  _ you  _ do that? Answer me!” he shouts, “Give him back!”

He hears people stop running near him and he looks to see the group from the infirmary staring at him. “Apollo!” he shouts again, “You owe me this! I am your son! Give me this!”

The sky doesn’t answer him and Will can feel the tears on his face. “Hades! You said that you wanted him to be the exception, let him be! Send him back!”

He’s hysterical and he knows it. He can only imagine how he looks, in a crumpled suit, screaming at the sky as he sobs, but he doesn’t stop. “Please! Take me instead! I’ll do anything, give anything, just send him back! I can’t-” his voice cracks, “Oh gods, I can’t be here without him!”

Annabeth places a hand on his shoulder and he looks at her, tears streaming down his face. “He’s gone, Will,” she tells him, “And you can’t get him back.”

Will jerks away from her like she hit him, “I can do anything. I  _ will  _ do anything. For him.”

“Will, there isn’t anything-” her voice breaks, “He’s dead, Will. He died.”

Her eyes are filled with pity and it makes Will feel sick. And angry. He takes a step back and sneers at her. “I don’t care what you think,” he tells her, “I’m going to get him back or I’m going to die trying. Either way, I’ll see him again.”

She shakes her head and turns away, walking back to the rest of the group staring at him in bewilderment. He’s desperately trying to think of some way to get Nico back. He thinks bitterly that Nico would know, he always knew the most about the myth and creatures. Will used to tease him about it, call him nerd, and now the memory knocks the air out of his lungs. It feels like a terrible waste of time, a true cruelty to have done anything other than spend every waking minute telling Nico how much he loved him, adored him, how beautiful he was.  _ ‘Was’ _ , Will repeats in his head, grabbing the back of his neck and digging his nails into the skin to ground himself.

He sits down, hanging his head as he tries to push down the panic and grief threatening to drown him while he desperately tries to form any plan. He needed to talk to Hades. The god wasn’t going to come to him so he needed to go there. Will didn’t even know how to get to the Underworld, anytime he’s gone, Nico had shadow travelled them there. 

Will stands on shaky legs and starts walking towards the Hades cabin, planning to gather what he needs for his quest and try to formulate a plan. Austin tries to grab his arm as he walks past but Will shrugs him off. “Don’t,” he snaps, taking a shuddering breath, “Leave me alone.”

“Will,” Kayla says from beside Austin, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone right now.”

Will wants to laugh but it comes out as a broken sob, “I’m always alone now.”

He turns away from them and starts running again, trying to get to the Hades cabin as fast as possible. He bounds up the steps as he reaches them and barges in, slamming the door behind him. He leans back against the door, trying to catch his breath as he looks around. 

Nico hadn’t stayed in the cabin for more than a few days since he and Will had moved into their apartment but Will could see him everywhere. In the books stack on the desk, in the posters on the wall, in the way the pillow dipped just slightly in the middle. Will is suffocating in the empty cabin and he slides down against the door, slumping onto the floor. He lets out a shaky sob and clutches his hands to his chest. “Oh gods,” he mumbles.

As he sits alone, in a room that screams Nico in every way, Will is struck by his loss again. Nico, his husband, the love of his life, is gone. He doesn’t even know where his body is. He moves his hand to grip at his hair, yanking it harshly. “Oh  _ gods _ ,” he repeats, hyperventilating.

“No, no,” he cries, “Oh gods no.”

He is muttering and rambling, unable to articulate anything other than the profound, suffocating grief hitting him in waves. He feels like he’s falling to pieces, like every cell in his body is dying and breaking apart. He scrambles forward as he tries to take a breath but it’s futile. He lays back, gasping and crying, grabbing at his hair and trying to just breathe.  _ This is dying,’  _ he thinks,  _ ‘This is what Nico felt. It hurts.’ _

Will can’t get himself to come down and even as his breathing becomes shallow, it's more rapid. His lungs are burning and his head feels heavy as it rests against the floor. He tries to blink away the black spots in his vision but they just expand. His entire body is shaking, his hands are clammy and his heart is beating so quickly he thinks that he could probably see it trying to escape from his chest. He gasps again, hoping to just breathe, but nothing happens. He knows he’s having a panic attack and if he could think of anything other than Nico, he would be able to help himself. Instead, memories of him hit him painful flashes. Their first kiss, the time Nico took him to Venice, the first time Nico told him he loved him, the day they moved into their apartment together, the day he proposed. His vision is getting darker and he feels dizzy. He blinks once, twice, before he blacks out.

\-----

Will wakes again, this time without the blessing of a moment of ignorance. He wakes with the image of Nico’s limp body being ripped away from him by Jason burned onto the lids of his eyes. A painful scream rips from his throat as he shoots up, disoriented. He tries to calm down as he looks around and realizes he’s on the floor of the Hades cabin. He remembers that he needs to make a plan, or at least figure out a way to even get to the Underworld. Will shudders as he stands, taking slow steps towards the closet.

It’s mostly bare, just a few shirts hanging and a backpack lying in the corner. He grabs the backpack with trembling hands and pulls two of the shirts off their hangers, stuffing them into the bag. He moves to the dresser where he knows Nico kept extra questing supplies, some protein bars, matches, a dagger, and a first aid kit. It’s not a lot and Will knows he’ll need more if he actually wants a chance. As he is shoving things into the backpack, he remembers Nico telling him about a door to the Underworld hidden in Central Park. He doesn’t know where exactly, he doesn’t know how to open it, but all he can focus on is that he has a chance. 

Will zips up the backpack and moves to leave the cabin, hoping to sneak into the infirmary and armory to grab more supplies before he leaves. He pulls the door open and comes face to face with Percy and immediately scowls. Percy’s nose is purple, assumedly from when Will smashed his head against it. He tries to move past him but Percy doesn’t budge.

“What do you want?” Will snaps.

“I was sent to come check on you,” Percy informs him coldly.

Will questions his tone but doesn’t say anything, just narrowing his eyes, “Why you?”

“Because I’m the least likely to be swayed by any act of grief from you,” Percy says, anger evident in every word.

Bile rises in his throat but he stands his ground even as his hands shake. “Why are you mad at me?”

Percy scoffs and steps closer to Will, “I thought you were smart, Solace.”

Will’s voice trembles as he responds but his face remains stony, “Forgive me if I’m not at the top of my game right now, my husband just died.”

“You’re right. He died. You’re a fucking healer and he died.”

Will recoils. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Percy says.

“Do you think I didn’t try to heal him? Were you not the one who held me back as Jason took him away from me?” Will roars.

“Oh no, I think you tried,” Percy scoffs, “It just wasn’t good enough. You were  _ never _ good enough. Not for him.”

Beneath the poignant rage Will feels at Percy’s words, an inconsolable guilt settles in his stomach. He has always felt like not enough for Nico, not compared to Percy, not compared to Jason, not compared to anyone else. He was always just Will, a son of Apollo who’s only talent was healing and that wasn’t even enough sometimes, clearly. He wants to fall into a heap and cry until he can just stop existing but instead he raises his hands and shoves Percy back. The son of Poseidon looks surprised but his face quickly twists to anger. 

“Fuck you, Percy Jackson!” Will screams, advancing towards him, “How fucking dare you?”

Percy continues to move backwards, goading Will down the stairs of the cabin’s porch and into the center of the grouping of cabins. “You want to talk about not deserving him?” Will continues, shoving Percy again, “Look in the fucking mirror!”

“What do you mean?” Percy snarls.

“Are you fucking stupid? He adored you, for years! He would have done anything you asked of him! Even after you get his sister killed! Even after you abandoned him! Even when you strangled him! Even when you wanted to leave him in that fucking jar! You think that  _ I  _ didn’t deserve him? All you ever did was betray him!”

They were attracting an audience, campers and adults alike shuffling out of cabins to witness the screaming match, though neither man acknowledges it. Percy steps forward again, “You know what, Solace? Nico-”

Will cuts him off, “Don’t you dare say his name!”

”You don’t fucking own him!” Percy screams, “Other people loved him too!”

“He was the love of my life! He died on our fucking wedding day!”

“He died because you weren’t good enough to save him! He died because you failed!”

Will punches Percy in the face, his fist connecting hard against his jaw. Percy stumbles back as a gasp ripples through the crowd of demigods that had gathered. Percy recovers quickly and lunges at Will, hitting him in the face and sending both of them flying down onto the grass. They struggle for a moment, wrestling, until Percy is pulled off of him by Frank and Jason. Will stands back up, wiping blood from his lip from where Percy hit him. He is breathing heavily and staring glaring at Percy, refusing to look anywhere else. His eyes are burning and he knows he’s going to cry again. He wonders if he’ll ever stop crying. _ ‘Not until I get him back,’ _ he thinks.

“You’re right,” Will says, his voice cracking as tears roll down his cheeks, “I failed. But you did too. At least I’m trying to do something about it.”

He turns on his heel, picking up the backpack from where he had dropped it earlier and walking rapidly towards the infirmary. Someone calls out his name from behind him but he doesn’t turn to see who it is as he continues to rush forward. As he makes it to the doors, the person following him finally catches up. They place a hand on his arm and whips around, ready to snarl at whoever it is until he sees it’s Hazel. His heart breaks all over again as pictures her and Nico dancing. His lip trembles but he turns away from her, walking into the infirmary and making a beeline for the supply closet. She follows him still. “Will, what are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m going to get him,” he answers as he begins to shove supplies into the bag. 

“You can’t,” Hazel tells him, her voice trembling, “That’s not how it works.”

Will pauses for a moment as he takes a deep breath. “I have to try,” he whispers, looking back at her, “You know I have to.”

She presses her lips into a tight line, a pained look on her face as she cries silently, “And if you can’t do it? Or you don’t make it back?”

“Then I die,” he says simply, resuming his collection of supplies, “And I am with him again anyway.”

“He wouldn’t want that, Will,” she mumbles.

Will flinches at her words and starts to zip up the bag. “He’s not here,” he says, “And we are. I am. And I have to try.”

Hazel nods. “I know,” she whispers, “He loved you so much.”

Will’s breath hitches and he turns to Hazel quickly, pulling her into a tight hug. She wraps her arms around him and presses her face into his chest, crying. They hold each other for a moment, as if clinging to each other will make it hurt less. “I know what I said to Percy,” Will mumbles into her hair, “But I don't think that I own him. I know you loved him too. Everyone did. I just-”

She shushes him, “It’s okay, I understand. Percy was out of line. It wasn’t your fault, Will. You didn’t fail him.”

“Then why does it feel like I did?” he cries quietly.

She pulls back and looks him in the eyes, “It isn’t. You did the best you could.”

“I didn’t-“ he hicks, “I didn’t hold his hand. He just wanted me to hold his hand and I didn’t. And now I won’t ever again.”

Hazel pauses before speaking again. “Yes, you will,” she tells him, “Cause you’re going to get him, right? You’re gonna bring him back to us?”

Will lets out another sob but nods, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “I won’t leave without him,” he says.

Hazel leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to calm his breathing down. She pulls away from him and he stands up straight, readjusting his grip on the bag. “I have to,” he takes a breath, “I have to go to the armory and then I’m leaving. Nic- He once told me there was an entrance to the Underworld in Central Park, do you know where?” 

“I’m not completely sure. That entrance is,” she stops and looks away from Will as she lowers her voice, “It’s Orpheus’s entrance.”

Will feels sick again.  _ ‘Orpheus’ _ he thinks,  _ ‘I can’t be Orpheus.’ _

“Thank you, Hazel,” he whispers.

She’s crying again, quiet tears on her cheeks and she nods, taking a step back so he can slip past her. He stares at her for a moment before turning away, walking out of the infirmary. The crowd that had gathered to witness him and Percy has mostly dispersed and he is able to make it across camp to the armory without being derailed. 

He’s never been very good with a sword so takes a bow and a quiver of arrows as well as another knife in addition to the one he took from the Hades cabin. It’s awkward wearing both the quiver and the backpack but he doesn’t really care as he leaves the building. His heart is racing as he walks to the entrance of camp, keeping his head down as he passes anyone else. He can’t bear to look at them, to hear them, he can only think about how to get Nico back. As he stands at the top of Half- Blood Hill, he looks down the hill to see people staring up at him. He sees Hazel and she nods at him before turning and burying her face in Frank’s side. Will scans the rest of the crowd, his eyes catching on Percy for just a second and his stomach twisting painfully. His lips wobble and he looks up at the sky again, sending out a silent prayer.  _ ‘Please,’  _ he begs,  _ ‘Just let me bring him back, let me save him.’  _ Then, just for good measure, he prays to every other god he can think of. The gods of Annabeth’s cousin, the God of his Baptist grandfather, every god he’s ever heard of. 

He looks forward again and takes another step. 

\-----

He makes it to Central Park and starts wandering around, wracking his brain for any other detail of the story Nico had once told him. He remembers hearing about Grover’s wood reeds and then he hears Hazel’s voice in his head, telling him  _ ‘It’s Orpheus’s entrance.’  _ He tries to recall the myth and thinks again about how Nico would know. The thought sends grief down his veins and into his chest, filling his lungs and then he’s choking for a second, the absence of his love potent. He stumbles and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to regain his bearings.  _ ‘You don’t have time for this,’ _ he scolds himself,  _ ‘You need to go faster.’ _

He thinks of Orpheus and he thinks of Apollo. His father talks of Orpheus often, of his talent and how his song of mourning was so powerful even the stones wept. He opens his eyes,  _ ‘Stones,’ _ he thinks, _ ‘I need to find the stones.’ _

Will starts walking again with renewed purpose, pushing down the unadulterated pain and panic threatening to well up anytime he slowed. In the distance, he sees a pile of boulders and he breaks out into a sprint, skidding to a stop in front of them. He doesn’t see anything that looks like it could be an entrance. He remembers Orpheus’s lyre and his song, he remembers Grover’s reed pipes, and he realizes he has to sing.

Will has never been a singer. It was always Austin and his other siblings that could sing like Apollo, beautifully and powerfully. His own voice is thin and raspy.  _ ‘Nico liked it,’  _ he thinks,  _ ‘He loved when I sang.’ _ The thought makes him sob and he falls to his knees but he won’t let himself crumble, not when he’s here, not when he has to do this. He starts to sing softly, his voice clumsily jumping between chords and cracking so often as he cries. He’s singing a lullaby Nico used to ask for, one Will’s mom used to sing to him when he was child. As he sings, he thinks of Nico curled into his chest at night, mumbling quietly and asking for Will to sing to him. The first time he asked, Will was embarrassed and he had teased Nico, asking  _ “Oh, you want me to serenade you?” _ Nico had shook his head and buried himself further into Will’s chest,  _ “No, I want you to make it better.” _ It being the darkness, the nightmares, all the terrors Nico had lurking and  _ gods _ , he had asked so softly, so cautiously, how could Will have done anything else but sing for him? He sings for him now and nothing happens, no stones shift, not even the grass ripples from the wind. He stops and makes a broken sound, trying to calm himself down.

He prays to his father again, instead asking for a song. He tips his head back and shouts at the sky, “Apollo, please! If you can’t- if you can’t give me him, give me this!”

Nothing seems to happen and Will is suddenly terrified that he won’t even make it to the Underworld, he’s going to fail Nico again. He starts to sing again but it’s different this time. Instead of his own cracking voice, something deep and strong and sorrowful flows from him. It hurts him to sing, like he’s pouring out his own life force but he can’t stop. He looks to the boulders and sees them start to shift, as if his voice wrapping around them and pulling them away.  _ ‘A melody fit for Orpheus,’ _ he thinks.

He stops singing when a tunnel just barely large enough for him to slip into appears. He stands up and walks toward the tunnel. He looks behind him once, to the park and the sun and the world where he’s alone, and then steps into the tunnel. “I’m coming,” he whispers to the dark, to Nico, as the stones seal back up behind him. 

Maybe he was imagining it, maybe it was just a whistle of air in the tunnel, but he swears he heard a voice call out his name, a voice that sounded like Nico. Will begins to descend the stair case, into the dark, into hell. 

\-----

He feels like he’s been walking forever. The stairs and the darkness never seem to end but at some point, he had begun to hear the rushing of the Styx and a low murmur of voices. It made him move faster, flying down the steps as if he wasn’t running into the Underworld. _ ‘I’m running to Nico.’ _

He’s glowing softly and he feels strangely ashamed of bursting into the Underworld while glowing like a nightlight but he ignores it. Eventually he emerges from the tunnel at the base of a cliff, breathless. The River Styx is rushing on one side and on the other, the tall gates of Hades’s kingdom stand intimidatingly. He walks toward the gates where rows and rows of shades are waiting to be let in, to be judged. Will wonders for a second if Nico is somewhere in this mass but he writes off the thought. Nico is the son of Hades, he wouldn’t have to wait in line like mortals, even like a normal demigod. Will tries to push through the crowd but realizes that he can walk through them like they’re mist. It sends a cold shiver through his body when he does and he tries to avoid them, weaving around the translucent figures. He can see the entrance to the gates approaching and for the first time since- he chokes, for the first time since _ it _ happened, a flash of hope sparks in him. Until a low growl echoes against the cavern as Will is about to run through the gates. He looks to the side and sees Cerberus, half shadow, crouched and ready to pounce on him. 

Will has met Cerberus before, Nico loves him and dragged Will to see the dog a hundred times. Cerberus would wag his tail and three tongues would loll out of their respective mouths when he would see Nico coming and it always made Will wonder how anyone could really be that afraid of the dog when he was just a giant, three-headed puppy. He understands now. Cerberus looks like he’s going to tear Will to pieces and terror fills him. He swallows tightly and shifts his bow in his grip as he holds out a hand to the guard dog, his voice wavering as he speaks soothingly, “Hey Cerberus. You remember me, right?”

Cerberus seems to pause for a moment, as if thinking, and Will can hear the murmuring of the shades behind him increase in volume. He catches bits and pieces of the words flying across the crowd,  _ “Who?”, “Why?”, “Alive?” _

Cerberus doesn’t growl again but he bares his teeth, crouching lower. Will gulps and keeps his hand held out. “I know I’m not supposed to be here,” he tells the dog, “But I’m going to get Nico. You know Nico?”

Cerberus’s many ears perk up at the name and he thumps his tail once, twice. It makes Will start to cry but he smiles wryly. The dog looks around, as if he’s trying to spot the son of Hades lurking somewhere. “He’s not here,” Will shakes his head, his voice cracking, “I have to go get him.”

All three heads are cocked in Will’s direction and the shades are getting louder. Will glances behind him to see them surging forward slightly, hands extended out to grab him. He steps forward and this time Cerberus doesn’t growl. Will looks to the dog and tries to smile, even with the tears rushing down his face. “Thank you,” he cries, “I’ll make sure he comes to see you.”

Cerberus looks away from Will, instead turning to the shades now rushing forward to get to Will and the dog snarls. It causes them to freeze for just a second, just long enough for Will to break out into a sprint. 

He’s in the kingdom now and he doesn't know what to do so he keeps running.  _ ‘Hades,’ _ he thinks,  _ ‘I need to talk to Hades.’ _ He sees the palace in the distance, across the Fields of Asphodel and he steels himself. He runs as fast as his feet will carry him across the Field, no longer worried about avoiding the shades. Each time he runs through one, he feels sick but he doesn’t let it slow him down. Will is panting and his mind is a mess of grief and survival instincts. He hears a screeching above him and he looks up to see the Furies flying overhead, staring down at him. He has to slow down as he pulls an arrow from his quiver and notches it in his bow but he begins to weave, making him harder to grab. 

Will knows this isn’t a good idea. He’s not a great shot and he doesn’t know if he can even kill a Fury in the Underworld but he aims anyway. He sends an arrow flying and he misses, but only barely. He grabs another arrow as the Furies screech again, swooping low. At one point, he has to duck to avoid the claws of one of them sinking into his shoulders. He makes it to the other side of the Fields and he can see the palace doors clearly.  _ ‘Just a little farther,’ _ he tells himself,  _ ‘Just get a little farther.’ _ The tip of a clip grazes his shoulder and he cries out in pain as he whirls around quickly and lets loose another an arrow. He doesn’t stop to see if he hit his target but based on the wail, he thinks he did. 

He is panting, his chest tight and heaving as he reaches for another arrow. He can see the skeleton guards at the entrance to the palace and his chest tightens. He doesn’t stop, shooting one more arrow off before swinging his bow over his shoulder and grabbing the dagger strapped to his waist. He is just a few strides away from the doors and he bounds up the stairs, throwing the knife at one of the undead guards and slamming against the doors, forcing it open. He falls to the ground as the door gives in, collapsing in a heap. He’s exhausted and every part of him hurts but he’s so  _ close _ . Something grabs at his ankle and he tries to rip his leg out of their grip, crawling forward into the palace. Wherever has hold of him doesn’t let go and starts to drag him back. “No!” he screams, “Get off of me!”

He hears the voice of a Fury behind him and claws dig into his ankle. He doesn’t listen to what she says and continues to yell, trying to scramble forward and find purchase on the floor to hold onto. The smooth obsidian doesn’t leave him much but he doesn’t stop, still screaming. “Get off! I have to- I have to get him!”

“Enough!” a voice shouts, powerful and commanding.

Will quiets down and struggles less as looks up to see Hades standing in front of him. “What is the meaning of this?” Hades asks, his voice as sharp and terrifying as a god’s should be. 

The god of the Underworld glances down at Will and their eyes meet. He can’t name what exactly he sees in the god’s eyes but it isn’t the cold fury he was expecting. “An intruder, my King,” the Fury says from behind Will.

Hades his eyes locked on Will as he speaks slowly, “Let him go.”

Will can feel the hesitation in the way the grip on his ankle shifts but the Fury doesn’t dare argue. He is reluctantly released and Will gasps, scrambling to stand up. He feels like he’s going to pass out and he can feel his jaw trembling but he stares Hades down. “You shouldn’t be here, son of Apollo,” Hades says, his voice cold and neutral.

“But you know why I am,” Will responds, hoping the god can’t hear the panic in him.

Hades tips his chin forward and hums. “I do,” he turns around and begins to walk to his throne room, “Follow me.”

Will follows on shaky legs, his ankle burning from where the claws were and he’s certain he’s dripping blood on the floor. The adrenaline keeps him from limping, he doesn’t dare show any more weakness in front of the god than he already has. Hades leads into him a large room with two thrones and a fireplace behind them. Even though Will knows it’s summer, he is still disappointed not to see Persephone, she had always liked him more than Hades had.

Hades sits in his throne, leisurely power radiating from him. Will swallows down his bile and he stops a few yards away from the god. Hades watches him for a moment, his eyes calculating before he clears his throat, “You are here for my son.”

Will feels tears burn behind his eyes and he takes a shaky breath. “Yes,” he nods.

“And why should I release him?” Hades asks.

“Because,” Will’s throat tightens and he realizes he has no idea what to say, “Because he’s your son. Because you said you wanted him to be the exception. Because he shouldn’t have- shouldn’t have died, not that day, not in that way.”

Hades cocks his head and narrows his eyes at Will. “And why do you think what you believe matters?”

Will can feel a tear escape from his eyes but he doesn’t have the time to focus on the implications of crying in front of the god of the Underworld. “Because I love him,” his voice cracks, “I  _ love _ him and he loves me. And because he deserved,” he corrects himself, “He  _ deserves _ better. You know that he does.”

“And what do you propose that I do?”

“Let him go, give him back to me.”

“That’s not how this works, son of Apollo.”

“Then take me instead,” Will offers, truly crying now, “I will trade places with him. You need a soul, take mine instead.”

Hades snaps his mouth shut tighter and works his jaw as he studies Will. “My son would not allow that,” he says slowly.

Will grimaces as he sobs, “Please, just let him go. I’ll do anything.”

His cries are echoing in the throne room, reverberating throughout the entire palace. Will wonders for a second if Nico is here in the palace, if he can hear Will cry and beg for his life. The thought makes him cry harder but he refuses to let his knees buckle. 

“I believe my daughter told you the name of the entrance you used to get here,” Hades says slowly.

“Orpheus,” Will croaks.

“He begged me for the soul of his love once as well. I let him try and he failed. Are you going to fail?”

Will’s heart catches in his throat, “I won’t.”

“You know what happens if you do,” Hades warns, “My son will return to me and you won’t get another chance.”

“I know,” Will cries. 

Hades is silent for a moment, his eyes filled with Will thinks might be sympathy before he stands from his throne. He turns his back to Will, facing the fireplace and watching the flames lick upwards. “Go to the tunnel you arrived from,” Hades commands, “When you feel the winds shift, start walking.”

Will lets out a sob and he nods rapidly even though know Hades can’t see him. “Thank you,” he whispers.

“Don’t thank me,” Hades says quietly, “And don’t look back. Now  _ go _ .”

Will turns around and starts to rush out of the palace. He picks his dagger up from where it was lying on the steps of the palace besides the skeleton guards back in place. He prepares to fight his way through again but as he steps back out into the Underworld, nobody and nothing so much as spread him a glance. 

He makes his way back across the Fields of Asphodel and through the gates. Cerberus and the shades don’t pay him any attention and his chest feels tight with a strange mix of fear and hope. He finds the tunnel he came from and waits, not looking back at the Underworld behind him.

He holds his breath, listening and waiting for any change. He hears what sounds like a sigh behind him and a quiet whisper of his name as the breeze brushes across his face in the opposite direction. He shudders and lets out a choked cry. “Nico,” he whispers.

He doesn’t hear anything else and panic wells in his stomach.  _ ‘What if that wasn’t what Hades meant?’  _ he questions. But he knows he won’t get another chance so he steps forward and begins to climb the steps. 

As he enters the dark tunnel of stairs, his throat constricts. Panic is welling in him as he can’t even hear his own steps echo. He places a hand on the stone wall and tries to glow again but the darkness seems to swallow any light he emits. He has to climb the stairs silently, completely in the pitch black. 

He climbs for what feels like years. He understands Orpheus’s doubt. Will isn’t even sure if he is real, how could he be sure that his love is really following him?  _ ‘Why would he follow you?’  _ a voice in his head questions, a voice that sounds strangely like Percy Jackson. 

Will’s hands are shaking and he stumbles on the stairs occasionally, always barely catching himself before he slams against the slippery stone. His ankle is burning and every step he takes sends pain shooting up his leg. _ ‘You won’t make it,’  _ Percy's voice tells him,  _ ‘You aren’t good enough.’  _

Will squeezes his eyes shut, trying to ignore the fear beginning to choke him. “I love you,” he whispers into darkness.

His own voice is barely audible to him but it soothes him slightly. He begins to sing again, the same lullaby he had tried to open the tunnel with earlier. He no longer has Apollo’s blessing, his voice is raspy again but it’s the voice that Nico loved. The song barely echoes but he hopes that Nico is behind him, that Nico can hear him sing for him.

Maybe it’s because he’s distracted, but the darkness seems to lessen slightly. And then, all of a sudden, he can see a glimmer of light in the distance. He stops singing and starts to climb the stairs faster. “Almost,” he says, to himself or to Nico, he can’t quite tell. 

The light grows bigger and Will swears that he can hear the birds in the park. It’s so close, if he can just get a little farther, walk a little faster. From the corner of his eyes, Will thinks he sees something move and his eyes flicker to his periphery. He bites his cheek and looks forward again, scrambling towards the light, to his escape, to his salvation. 

_ ‘You have never been enough for him,’ _ Percy whispers in his head,  _ ‘And you aren’t now. You are alone.’ _

He shudders and keeps moving. Something moves in the corner of his eyes again and suddenly he is distinctly aware of only his own footsteps echoing. He hears a gasp, he’s  _ sure  _ he does, and he can’t stop himself. 

Will looks behind him and his breath catches. Nico is standing behind him. Pale and shaking but there and beautiful, so beautiful. Will understands Orpheus. He is Orpheus. And he has failed. 

Nico looks at him, his face fallen but his eyes are warm, always warm. “You’re early,” he whispers.

Will can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t think. He blinks and realizes he’s crying. His voice trembles as he speaks, “I missed you.”

Nico reaches an arm out but shadows wrap around him and then he’s being pulled back, back down. Will sobs and lunges forward but it doesn’t matter. His hand passes through Nico’s like a sword cutting through fog. His knees buckle and he collapses to the ground as the world, his world, is pulled from him. 

He curls up on the steps, hands clutching his hair and knees against his chest, and he screams. His voice echoes across the tunnel, echoes such utter anguish and agony that he’s certain that the gods on Olympus can hear him. Will doesn’t stop screaming, doesn’t stop crying, not until his voice and breath are gone, seized by the darkness that took everything else from him. 

Will is alone, dying on the stairs to the Underworld, and he can’t help but think of Nico dancing again. Of his love spinning and laughing. The thought almost soothes him but he’s unconscious before he can be relieved. 

**Author's Note:**

> Pain! This hurt to write but I was in the mood for some serious hurt/no comfort.
> 
> Please comment any thoughts you have, I love all of them and appreciate them so much!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


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